Home renovation fans will likely recognize Nicole Curtis from HGTV, where she has hosted two popular shows. But even if you aren’t familiar with Rehab Addict and Rehab Addict Rescue, we can certainly sympathize with the shock, pain, and grief this woman is feeling following the death of her beloved dog.

“My dog, Lucy, is gone,” the TV star wrote in a heartbreaking Instagram post that included a photo of her cuddling her departed dog, Lucy. “The tears haven’t stopped, the heartache so bad that I’ve sat in my house just screaming her name out.”

The post didn’t explain how Lucy died, but her owner recalled how a neighbor had brought Lucy home. “I saw my neighbor coming up the walk carrying her yesterday saying I’m so sorry, mama,” Curtis wrote. “They laid her down next to me and I cradled my baby.”

The HGTV star adopted the Brussels Griffon mix at a charity auction in 2013 when Lucy was just 6 months old, according to Dogster. “I kept telling myself, ‘I’m not getting another dog. I don’t need another dog, I don’t want another dog,” said Curtis, whose dog Polly had passed away just a year before. But the cuddly puppy, whom Curtis had offered to hold during the auction, nevertheless wriggled her way into her future owner’s heart. “And then after an hour of sitting with her, I was like, this is my new dog,” she remembered. “Needless to say, when bidding started my paddle stayed up until she was mine to keep forever.”

Lucy grew up to be the HGTV star’s constant companion, accompanying her owner to work, on car rides, vacations, long runs, and even helping raise her young family. “I didn’t birth this sweet girl, but, at times, I felt I had,” Lucy’s owner wrote on Instagram. “From the moment I brought her home, she slept curled into my belly, she spent 9 mos curled against my pregnant belly, she then guarded my baby like he was her own.”

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But now Lucy’s owner is struggling to cope with a gut-wrenching loss, grieving a rescued dog who returned the favor by showering her human with undying love, loyalty, and affection. “My dear friends dug a hole, made her a casket as I just held her tight in her fav spot in the sun on the porch,” Curtis wrote, recalling how she sobbed and held her “dear sweet baby” close as they buried Lucy in the backyard.

“For the past 8 years, life’s pains were lightened by this blessed pup of mine,” Lucy’s mourning owner wrote, admitting she still can’t admit her beloved pup is really gone. We’re so sorry for your loss!

Have you ever lost a pet? How did you cope with the grief?