“Cats ears are built to allow the human voice to go in one ear & out the other”

“I dressed my dog as a cat. Now he won’t come when I call him”

“Petting a cat will leave you feline good”

“Letting the cat out of the bag is easier than putting it back in”

“If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will?”

“Bathing cats is a martial art”

“Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet.”

“Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners but catscan.”

“Cats spend half their life asleep and half making viral videos”

“Cat puns freak meowt. Seriously I’m not kitten.”

“A cat is always on the wrong side of the door.”

“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten”

“Don’t tell me what to do, you are not my cat!”

“If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t”

“Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.”

“If the earth was flat cats would push everything off it”